A year ago I was sitting inside a plane, excited for the new beginning in a foreign land. There are so many new dreams, expectations and wishes once I touched down. Things started off tough, I barely knew anyone and it’s been a challenge to even keep me living here on a day to day basis. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months before I even realize it, here comes the one year milestone.
People said adjustment is hard, yeah..it’s nothing wrong about it, and you can’t actually prepare anything for it, because until the time you face the challenge or problem, in that exact moment you have to know how to react in regards to it. There are theories to study but the exact thing have to be learn through experiencing.
But…once you passed that stage, you are creating an empire for yourself starting from scratch. It’s just awesome. You got to experience how to build up a strong foundation from the very start, take friendship for example, a stranger, coming from various different background, from all over the world. It’s difficult, because everything is so diverse and sometimes extraordinary for us but there is where you got to learn to adapt and identify your weaknesses so that we can properly adjust ourselves to suit different kind of people. Furthermore, there are also various other things that we need to do, the different kind of weather and seasons, the new habits we have to live in and all sort of differences we have to cope. It’s not easy but it’s not impossible, that kind of experience is very precious and you can’t purchase those.
Apart from that, this experience brought me in many understanding of the value of a thing. A pen is very needed in an exam, books for the weekly assignment and your guideline and a lot of simple things that I never even bother with in the past. One of which that I would like to draw attention to is money. Prior to my arrival, I got good supply of money and rarely in a difficult situation when it comes to money and so I just took money as a commodity like any other, nothing special about it and it’s just useful especially when you got more of them.
Nonetheless, I learned the lesson in a very hard way that is starting to work. Since I was a kid, I was thought how to do business and even thought to deal with the office work, those overwhelmed me but I still think it’s still easy and it brings you money but in this country where I learned to work for other people, being the employee instead of the employer/owner and being the teacher instead of the student. I now know how people have to strive just to keep them alive everyday, for a handful of food everyday people needs to work for hours doing all sort of labor. It’s amazing that I first started at the very bottom-doing manual labor and crawls up slowly. I’m now in a pretty good position, with two jobs in hand and still in a young age. It’s just amazing, and never in my life I imagine that I can be like this.
Aside from the one stated above, it’s been a very awesome experience to meet hundreds and even thousands of new people from around the globe, with their own unique culture and way of thinking. Able to network with those kind of people and learn with together with them is a experience that you cannot even imagine how great that is and can’t simply be expressed into words.
To sum up, there are so many things that happened during this one year long, too much to even write it all. All in all, it’s a once in a lifetime chance and it’s been a very amazing experience and hope to do so in the future, one year down, hopefully there are even more in the coming years. Thanks for the people I now know, the people that support me mentally, in prayers and all, especially thanks God for this invaluable experience, sure is a period of time that’s gonna leave a mark in my life.
Keep excel in whatever you are doing and strive for the very best in every single chance, make sure everything counts because you’ll never know how it might have an impact on you and you’ll not regret at the end. Lastly, I would end this with my drama performance poem that really reflects my life.
Words Make Sailors of Us All by Danny Fahey
Once uttered, words
Defy a short trip between two points
Dictionaries hold only a fraction
Cannot define wrinkles
That cast us back
Language moves outside
The flimsy barriers of the here
And now-make us
The flesh and bone singers of history
Words are not a journal
Of a distance lost
They are the ripples
The shifting landscape
Affected upon us
To see one’s wasting his potential in this life sends a shock wave to my brain and shattered my heart, where the opportunities existed and choice was made but because of careless attitude, everything collapsed and life was literally gone to waste.
Not all people got the chance to taste tertiary education in their local community, foremost overseas, only few are able to do so. I have seen chances being wasted by the people close to my heart, where they got the rare opportunity to study in a good university but did not take full responsibility for their study, some even just walks off afterwards without any notice.Their careless attitude makes me re-think twice about my own life, I do have a much better chance and I do put much more effort to ensure I used the best out of what I have but sadly many are not doing what they are suppose to do.
Those people that let me down have chosen their path, no one force them to do so, it is their free will and we were just there to support them in each step of the way. No one should be proud of it, both the person and the supporters, we all work hand in hand to achieve success and better living standard. To see them spoil their choice by not putting 100% effort into their chosen path, sends the rest of us a message that we need to value the opportunities more because many envy us and many were not able to experience what we did.
After so many unwise decision, accumulated over a period of time, those people have wasted their potential by just living in a so and so condition although capable to achieve a lot more and be a lot better. To see them doing manual labor or painstaking work that does not give back a lot, shattered my heart because I know that they have the potential to do so but sometimes just to arrogant to realize and develop the skills needed to make those skills blossoms.
Brother and sisters, do not waste the opportunities you have, it might be very common for you but remember that not everyone can have the same chance as you have right now, value those chances because maybe if you choose unwisely, you might lose everything forever because time never rolls back, it just keeps on going forward.
I personally did miss tons of opportunity to be a blessings to others, to be better and to learn, now all I can do is to regret and work on what I still have in me, not much but it’s worth the effort, I have wasted so many things and fortunately I am still here, able to share this to all of you and try to repair my mistakes even though it might be too late but I’ll give it a shot. Choose wisely guys, you’ll not want to regret for the rest of your life, it’s just too pathetic, life is too short to be wasted…
Getting what you want is exciting and surely will make you happy but what happen when things aren’t go according to your will and you just feel stuck? People says, the result does not really matter but actually the process is the one important.
We as human make plannings, a whole bunch of them for our future. For instance, we plan for our holiday trip, where we would like to study and work in which particular sector there are infinite number of things you may plan of, from something silly until something that is extremely important to not just only you but your family, friends or even for others.
But we can only plan, the future is ever changing, we don’t know what it will look like, we are just able to predict. In many occasion I am sure that we may feel disappointed at one point because our dreams or planning failed or even ruined into pieces but this is all life is about, not getting everything that you want and this life is truly unfair although we are trying our best to make everything a lot more fair for each other, but it still seemed not enough.
When an individual did not achieve their dream or goal, one will feel very disappointed, frustrated or depressed but that does not matter as long as that person conduct the right thing. The process is the place where we learn, if we always get everything instantly we would never be able to learn.
As a chef practice inside the kitchen by cooking various dishes with their own level of difficulty not only serving what is instant, such as instant noodle perhaps. As he or she practice there is always a risk and hard time. He might one day cut his finger while chopping and he might never got the dish right after 100 times, who knows? plenty of those things do happen in real life.
but let us examine the determination of the chef, he will continuously try to make it right, even though there is a risk and a lot of failures, at each failure he will learn something, maybe the oven is too hot or the vegetables are not evenly chop or it might be anything but what i want to say is that the process the one that matters.
Whenever we have put a lot of effort into something we do, we will surely be satisfied even if the result is not as we expected, at least we learn a lot and it is our own work. As long as we learn and gain experience it is not worthless, for me, almost everything is useful if we know how to use it well and aware of the situation to make use of it whenever it is necessary. Enjoy this life that is full of it’s ups and downs that need hardship and determination to get things right.
Sometimes you just know inside your heart that it’s coming but you have waited for days, weeks and even years but it never arrives. It can be as frustrating as it can be, I won’t deny it, it does happen but we need to comprehend that there is a saying, ‘everything will be beautiful in it’s own time’ it, we just need to keep on believing it even though there is nothing that we can hold on or an assurance that things will just work out when the right time comes.
For days, many advices me to just keep on the struggle of waiting, oh.. yeah.. rite.. wait some more, I’m getting sick of it! oh yeah, who doesn’t sick of having to wait for something or a dream of yours to be a reality, moreover you don’t know how long you have to wait, there is no exact answer and never will be for these kind of things.
Well, there is not much that we can do, accept to wait and wait until it eventually comes, for me, focusing our mind into other stuff that is more useful might be a good idea to keep ourselves patient because we would not start worrying nor thinking about it since our mind will be too busy dealing with our work. It was just so random, but that’s fine… This is what it is all about, just being you, ALWAYS!
I don’t know what I have done but people told me that I am a fool, I got no excuses and so I write this for you. Whatever the reason you have to say no and just walk further from me, I am just hoping for one chance to change your mind.
Therefore, I swallowed whatever left inside me and I do not want to wake up because of the emptiness I felt inside of me. I wonder when you discover that I am just a waste of your time and just no more than an intermezo, not even worth being consider.
Please…don’t give up on me just yet, I never meant to steal your smile, I even have not seen your for quite a long time now, try to understand that I am not a perfect human but I can surely be a better man and improvement takes time and tremendous effort.
Now, I feel that I am out of place, I look for you everywhere that I possibly can with my current condition but I don’t think I can do this any more. I am just worn out and tired with unsatisfying feedback. Every little things just fell apart piece by piece.
From that very first week of secondary school I noticed something unusual about you but never have the courage to even tell someone about it, I got my own reason for my actions but now as I have waited and keep on praying, I re-gathered my courage once again and the more I do this, it
only makes me wants you more and more just like never before because you spin my world and turn it upside down even though the odds are approaching zero, but it does not matter because I
don’t want to regret for the rest of my life because I do not even try.
Honestly, I am fed up of the opportunity that are continuously blocked or wasted, it was just
countless…all I want right now is actually know what do you think and feel, nothing more than that simply because I don’t deserve to know more. Before even thinking to write this, I do look at
myself and the current condition for thousands of time because I know I am way worse than
anyone else in many aspects but I do have the heart for you.
Inspired by the song ‘Don’t give up on me’ by Daniel Powter
I have been gathering my courage all these years, even just to start a conversation or make a phone call, I do make sure I know what I am doing so that I am not just wasting our time but actually gain something. I do not know what you are experiencing or dealing everyday, I am not physically there and I have nothing more to say if you have come up with the decision there is no more good words left inside me to be told, because the prod is still turns even without you and that is a fact. I can not forever hook you to not go anywhere, you have your own rights and I do pay a lot of respect for it.
I am feeling lonely, but you are free to leave whenever you want, I believe there is still light in this path. I was always be the dreamer but it seems that you never put faith in me, also I was trying to fit in into the cramped space in between your heart and I have to admit that you are kind but you can be as cruel as this world, nothing else can be more hurtful for me than the truth.
My struggles is not only in these past few months but everything have started way back there where I first know you, although the sparks I am feeling is still not lit back then but I know there must be something going on and time will reveal the answer and I was right.
Don’t I know I am going crazy? I need some peace in my life. Even though I am no good for you but there is still a part of me that awaits you just in case by any chance you changed your mind and if that moment come I will still be ready and stand there to welcome you in because I believe in happy ending…
Inspired from the song ‘California’ by Darren Hayes
On many nights in these past few months, I desperately tried to reach my phone and try to call you because I can’t wait forever. Sometimes, I wonder if I ever cross on your mind but for sure, it happens to me all day long.
I’m all alone waiting for you because you said you would call and let me know how you go but you never do what you told me and I can’t blame you for that, sometimes I just lost control because I don’t know how can I stand without a person like you by my side.
I can’t stop looking at the door wishing you just might knock my door and maybe just come to visit but for now, it just seemed like a dream waiting to be realise or perhaps-never…
*inspired from the song ‘Need You Now by Lady Antebellum’
People can plan but only God decides on what thing will be done, people says. It’s just been month 5 in Australia and I have finished my term 1, got some good and bad news from home, a very supportive friend and awesome church and an unprecedentedly amazing offer from the one so special in my heart.
Honestly, I can’t be more grateful than now, there have been lots of ups and downs. The pet we all grew up with died last week and my scores was not that outstanding, a little below the average but to see it from the other perspective, I grew a lot in here, not just my knowledge but socially and especially my attitude.
I am so happy also with my sis and brother in law and would like to congratulate them with the pregnancy, it’s almost been a year they are waiting for it, hopefully they can take good care of my sister (people back home) and perhaps, I should be visiting more often and see what can I do to be helpful, well, if my calculation are not wrong, 9 months from now, it means that I’ll be home by the time the little fellow is born, woo hoo!! can’t wait, 17 years old and an official uncle already, gosh.. I really need to finish my degree, FAST!
Now, I am really thinking that I am dreaming, everything seems just too good to be true, is it true??? wkakaka.. not sure but I guess it is, lol.. (so random!) but anyway, can’t wait for next year if this continues, everything is just awesome! Moreover I am going back home tomorrow!!! I miss Jakarta a lot and gonna have a short visit during this term break.
It’s been days and even weeks since I began to dream about you, I don’t know about why does it occur? but I’m pretty sure that I am thinking about you a lot lately. I don’t want to force my will because I respect yours, I want to keep things just flowing just the way it should be, if it takes time, let it take the time it needs, this is another opportunity for me to be patience and to be more faithful in this life.
By now, I’m certain that you really know what I meant and you might be thinking about it or not, I don’t know.. The one thing I want you to know is that I just want the best not just for me but for you as well, because your happiness will be a part of my life, although we might not be related more than friendship, but that doesn’t matter as long as you are happy..
I surrender the future and my effort in the palms of my creator because I believe that He-who designed me knows me the best and have the vision on whom shall I be, it’s not me who chooses but a perfect planning has been done by Him and let His will be done in this life.
Post reblogged from immaDREAMER with 1 note
I should just think ‘whatever’ instead of regretting all these things. There are more things waiting for me,and I should work on it. Don’t let the past let me down,because when I fall once ,get up twice. I get only one life. Use every opportunity wisely,if something bad happen ,don’t let it stop me to keep looking forward. cause life is too short to be wasted with regrets . Life is so precious girl :)
Source: takemetothedreamland
It’s quite a while now that I haven’t post anything, lol.. been busy lately..
gosh, time flies, it’s almost 4 months now, and I’m going back home in 3 weeks time, whoopp!! I can finally eat and do the things I used to do..
Well, so far my life have been great, awesome friends, great environment, a lot of challenges to keep me growing and life seems to be directed clearly for now although I must say it’s quite tiring when you face a lot of difficulties and doesn’t seem to be able to resolve it, and sometimes it can be very frustrating.
FYI, I have looked in the mirror and see where I stand in my life and my own self, I am far from good for such an awesome person, I rather looked at her from a distant and just admiring and continuing to pray for her, hopefully she’s happy with her choice because it’s useless also to force if you end up hurting each other and so, better don’t start in the first place..
That doesn’t mean that I stopped, a good guy will not stop just because he failed once, he needs to try with other methods and strive for his own happiness. eww.. that’s tough, lol!!
Here I go again, back to my old friends and I do really mean it this time, pray for me and I’m just going to do my best and let see how it goes..
For months and even years I have been dreaming and I wished and kept on wishing… I started out of curiosity, the first idea was, how does it feel like and how does it work?
In the beginning, it was all blurred and I just went in blindly, then I began to see some enlightenment, I began to see how it works and I really love how it feels but when the love seems began to fade as if the sun is setting in the west, gosh… it turned my world up side down, never thought it could happened, but it did..
As the stage of recovery started, it is hard because I fell so devastatingly and to even re-trust someone I used to trust and rely on needed years. Regardless of the consequences, I guess it’s worth the fight and trouble, a men and a woman are meant to be together and it does give so many thing if they stick together and live this life that fills with ups and downs like the waves in the seas, sometimes it’s calm but when a storm approaches it gets tough and tougher.
So, one question remains, who doesn’t long for one? I guess everyone did and so do I.. Keep on dreaming, keep your faith and never stop believing!!
I guarantee that we’ll have tough times. I guarantee that sooner or later one, or both of us will want to get out. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life… Because I know in my heart you’re the only one for me.
I couldn’t believe everything that happened last week, everything that have been stored in my mind in the recent years just went to a reality in just in a matter of hours, it’s just unbelievable…
Since I was a little kid, I always like to watch, watching a performance, watching TV, movies and pretty much everything, but I am not a kind of person that likes to try things nor learn to do something that involves a lot of physical movements and all, just like watching them-a lot!!
Each time I watch something, I always end up remembering a little part of it even if the whole thing doesn’t impress me at all but a little part of it still stuck inside of my head and I began to imagine a series of events that evolves into my dream.
People say, regret comes at the end and it’s true… I want to but I just simply can’t, I got the opportunity but I don’t have the talents, the skills and the courage to simply just do it. It’s sad, isn’t it???
Hopefully I can get a chance again in the future and I’ll try my best to equip myself with the necessary things, starting with throwing away some fats and cutting down the weight and I’ll take it from there, wish me luck! I guess I’ll need bunch of that, lol
I wonder why but you never seem to take me seriously, what I said and what I have been doing is not just for fun or because I’m crazy but because it is really true but it’s just I don’t have the opportunity in the past years.
I tried to distract my mind and try to do what you asked, but I am not a superman, simply, I can’t do everything..
A chance, that is the only thing I am asking from you, that is all what it takes… Regardless of what the outcome will be in the future, it doesn’t actually matters, because at least we try..
I don’t know what is that you are thinking nor what you are feeling, but I guess, everyone deserve a chance once in their life.
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